In some ways, the divorce process itself may be easier than the time it takes to heal and grow from it after it is all over. While you are negotiating, planning, and being advised by your attorney, things may be more objective.
The progress you make alongside your attorney is easier to see and comprehend. There are steps, papers to sign, mediations to attend, etc. But before that, when you first realize that your marriage is ending, you are left to face the prospect of your new life—which may, at first, feel daunting.
Each phase of the post-divorce healing process presents massive challenges, but overcoming them is essential to significant personal growth.
(1) Acute Phase
This ecompasses the hurt and confusion you feel when your separation or divorce is the freshest. Many people describe this period when their lives feel “upside down.” You may be overwhelmed by grief while struggling to think clearly or work through daily tasks.
The biggest danger is thinking that this feeling is going to last. It is a phase rather than a perennial state of existence. Take the time to process your emotions by talking to a professional therapist. Even if you have children, set aside time when they go to bed to invest in yourself. This includes everything from reading books to allowing your emotions to surface in private.
(2) Acceptance Phase
Despite the name of this phase, it is unreasonable to expect that the painful aspect of your divorce has subsided. For example, you may have (slowly) begun to live your new life as a single person, but there may be times when old feelings resurface. Your first holiday without your children or former spouse may ignite unwelcomed pain back into your life.
Think of it this way: acceptance is not the beginning of this phase, but rather it is the goal. As a newly single person, it is important to remember that if painful feelings return, you are not regressing. Consider these moments as a stepping stone on the road towards healing.
(3) Adjustment Phase
Part of the adjustment phase centers around you being able to actually see and envision your future. At the start of your divorce, so much of your future is unknown. Your attorney may play a significant role in this phase.
The right family law attorney will guide you through the process. You have an experienced professional who can answer your questions surrounding everything from how your home will be divided to child custody arrangements.
As these answers begin to form, you can begin to see and adjust to your new life.
Recovering from a divorce takes patience and time. Some therapists have suggested that it takes one year to heal for every five years you were married. Instead of rushing to replace everything you lost, take that year (or more) to reconnect with your old hobbies. Work on building your relationship with your children as a newly single parent.
Being the best version of yourself is your means for discovering a happy and fulfilling future.
The divorce process can be overwhelming and complicated. Discovering an attorney you can trust and rely on can remove a significant amount of stress from your life. Contact OMG Law to schedule a consultation. We are as serious as we are empathetic. No one wants to help you through the legal hurdles connected with divorce more than we do.